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Sloppy Seconds: Why Some Men Double-Dip.


Like putting my hand on a hot stove, eating human flesh, or walking into a gay club wearing assless chaps, there are some things I innately just don’t want to do. Not only do I have no desire to do these things–they actually repulse me. I think for most sane, heterosexual men, the same is true.

There are certain things we like and things we just…don’t. We like Jessica Biel’s ass, but not Kimbo Slice’s. We like when our boys bring girls to the party, but not when our girls bring boys. We prefer our phone calls resemble the way we shop: with an objective and a sense of brevity, and definitely not “just to see how you were feeling???” And, until recently I thought, we like getting a girl ourdamnselves, and avoiding our boy’s sloppy seconds at any and all costs…

But, alas, it appears I am wrong.

What I believed was the overwhelming natural drive of the human male instinct to steer clear of anywhere his homeboy has put “his pipi” has now been relegated to the conscientious preference of an enlightened and reasonably secure modern man, who out of respect–both of you and himself–chooses to not double-dip his pig in a blanket (or sans blanket as the case may be). In other words, I think putting my pipi where my friend’s pipi has been is kind of gross (within a reasonably long time frame), and though I know a lot of you agree, apparently, the sentiment is not unanimous. Still, baffled by this revelation, I decided to dig deeper–to uncover the root of my aversion to hand-me-down vagin.


April 13th, 2008 | share



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