There’s a new Florida state song!

I bet you didn’t even know there was an old Florida state song; shows what a Floridian you are. Well there was, and it kicked ass. The only problem is that it was a bit offensive; in particular a line about “darkies” in the chorus. It’s called Old Folks at Home. Here it is being sung by the beautiful Rosa Ponselle.

Now, you’re probably thinking, “how could they replace such a kick-ass song? Nothing can compare!,” but the truth is the song has its flaws. For one, the already mentioned offensiveness. Then there’s the guy who wrote the song, Stephen Foster. He wasn’t even from Florida, and he didn’t write the song for or about Florida. He chose one lyric (”Way down upon the Swanee river”) about Florida because it sounded right, and that’s it.

Now we have the new song. This song is actually written by Jan Hinton, a Pompano Beach music teacher. The song is written for and about Florida, and after listening to it only once, it already held a special place in my heart, as I’m sure it will yours too. It’s called (wait for it): Florida.

Now you know what to sing if you’re feeling like a proud Floridian. If for any reason you’re feeling like a proud Floridian and a proud Key Rat, you can always sing Florida, and then follow that with the KBES school song. Sorry, there’s no YouTube video for that one (yet!).

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Taking Better Photos: 2 quick tips

I take a lot of pictures, and even though I take a lot, they’re not always good. There are things you can do to try and make sure that your pictures do come out good, though. It’s not enough to just put whatever you want in the frame, point and shoot. Sometimes this will result in a good picture, but most of the time it won’t. The camera can also make a difference in the shot, but megapixels usually don’t.

The first tip I can give is the rule of thirds. Basically, your picture will look best if you put your subject in an intersection created by splitting your frame into thirds.

Continue reading Taking Better Photos: 2 quick tips…

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This is why there’s no updates

Apart from the lack of news worthy to post, the real reason there’s not been an update in the better half of one week is because I’ve had to drive this beautiful Ferrari F430 around the track all day…

It’s also the reason there’s no pictures of the weekend. No worries, I’m weaning myself off starting today.

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Miami’s Biggest Foam Party

I’m not sure when this took place, but Sony filmed a commercial in downtown Miami where they covered a couple of streets in foam.

It looks pretty damn fun. They built the world’s largest foam machine for the shoot, a machine which could make 500,000 gallons of foam per minute. Then they gave a bunch of people in the street cameras (that’s what is being advertised) and let them make amateur videos.

It’s funny how something like this, which seems pretty damn big in scale, can happen in Miami and most of us don’t even notice; we end up catching it on YouTube just like everyone else.

[via Gizmodo]

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Guy shot dead at Studio A

During a hip hop night at Studio A early this morning, a man was shot and another injured. I know most of you don’t go to Studio A, but I’m sure a good amount of you have probably been one time or another.

It’s scary to think that this kind of stuff happens at locales you and I may frequent.

[via Miami Herald]

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Sloppy Seconds: Why Some Men Double-Dip.

Like putting my hand on a hot stove, eating human flesh, or walking into a gay club wearing assless chaps, there are some things I innately just don’t want to do. Not only do I have no desire to do these things–they actually repulse me. I think for most sane, heterosexual men, the same is true.

There are certain things we like and things we just…don’t. We like Jessica Biel’s ass, but not Kimbo Slice’s. We like when our boys bring girls to the party, but not when our girls bring boys. We prefer our phone calls resemble the way we shop: with an objective and a sense of brevity, and definitely not “just to see how you were feeling???” And, until recently I thought, we like getting a girl ourdamnselves, and avoiding our boy’s sloppy seconds at any and all costs…

But, alas, it appears I am wrong.

What I believed was the overwhelming natural drive of the human male instinct to steer clear of anywhere his homeboy has put “his pipi” has now been relegated to the conscientious preference of an enlightened and reasonably secure modern man, who out of respect–both of you and himself–chooses to not double-dip his pig in a blanket (or sans blanket as the case may be). In other words, I think putting my pipi where my friend’s pipi has been is kind of gross (within a reasonably long time frame), and though I know a lot of you agree, apparently, the sentiment is not unanimous. Still, baffled by this revelation, I decided to dig deeper–to uncover the root of my aversion to hand-me-down vagin.

Continue reading Sloppy Seconds: Why Some Men Double-Dip….

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The Lonely Soldier

There comes a time towards the end of the night when we all face complete danger and vulnerability to his evil works. We must guard against his will and beware of his attack at all costs. He almost always decides to make an appearance from the hours of 3-6 AM while our wits are weakened by alcohol and our minds defenseless to fight. Most victims fear the embarrassment and social torment he may cause. And most don’t realize they’ve been hit until morning when its too late. We all become him. His name is “The Lonely Soldier”; the grim reaper of all drunk dials and texts. And he’ll make you wish you weren’t born….for at least 48 hours.

You’re out, you are having fun, and all is good in the world. The cameras are flashing, the music is to your liking and the atmosphere has all the makings of a great time. Just another day in the single life, “yeeeeeeeaaaaa.” You have reached the mountaintop! This is it! You are Dr. Stephen J. Ironcock (the Destroyer) and you will not be stopped! You’ve been grinding on the dance floor with most of the top 10 heavyweight contender chicks in the room…and even got a couple of looks from the elite 3 who are in the hall of fame. In your warped mind your face is up on Mt. Rushmore next to the presidents and you are gripping basketballs on the cover of Sports Illustrated; highly touted as the next big time player! At the height of this little Roman Empire your buddies are happy to just be a part of the action, just like the guys who passed the ball to Michael Jordan in the ’90s or splashed water on Mike Tyson in between rounds in the ’80s, all wearing jumpsuits that read “TEAM YOU”. And why shouldn’t they? You’re the one spending all the money! But something awful happens…3am sneaks up on you like a midget in a cornfield…and the fall from grace is hard.

Continue reading The Lonely Soldier…

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Rat Radio’s many authors

I know that this site can sometimes seem like my own personal site; I do post the majority of the stories, and a lot of things that only make sense to people who know me and my friends. Despite that, there are some more authors on Rat Radio, and it’s only fair that they get the credit they deserve.

Make sure you check who posted. For example, that story about “barter whoring” was written by Alex305, aka Alex Fumero. Sure, you may not give a shit, but the point is that it wasn’t me.

Likewise, my brother writes the movie reviews, and now my boy Lou Restrepo is going to come back and write some more stories.

Just a heads up.

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One Twelve House

Here’s the video for the party last week, in all it’s 90s sitcom glory. Bear with my singing.

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Are YOU a “Barter-Whore”?

It happens every weekend. You’ve probably seen it and just never realized it was going on. Maybe… you’ve even been a victim of it… I’m talking about…

“Barter-Whoring”.

Over the years I’ve observed this troubling epidemic–one that is as subtle and difficult to identify as it is repulsive when finally diagnosed. At surface level, it appears to be nothing more than admittedly shallow, but nevertheless innocent, socializing between men and women of a common age. But under closer scrutiny, what is revealed is a ring of prostitution the likes of which the Western Hemisphere has never seen.

Now for those of you who went to LaSalle, here is a brief definition to help you understand the concept (pay special attention to #3):

bar·ter (verb) [bahr-ter]

Let’s look at an example:

It starts innocently–”Fulanita de Tal is attending VELVET-ROPE LOUD MUSIC PARTY WEDNESDAYS @ Club Pretense”. The party is hosted by her “friend” who she “loves” and whose Facebook wall is littered with quotes from her like, “Where have you been hiding????????? lol”, evidencing this firm adoration. Come Wednesday, she yanks on her favorite IOS pattern dress, blow-dries her hair straight, and texts her “BFF” telling him that she’s on her way.

Continue reading Are YOU a “Barter-Whore”?…

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